i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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