i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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