Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
