Who wears a wallet chain?!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
