I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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