Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
