You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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