I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
