omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
