I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize