idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
