Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
