maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
