I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
