I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
