Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
