Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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