he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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