look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
