kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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