So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
