About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
