Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
