I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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