I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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