the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
