I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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