I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
