you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
