At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
