I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
