I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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