You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
