His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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