I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
