it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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