He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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