Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
