Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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