did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
