omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize