Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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