out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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