Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
