she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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