i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
