So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
