those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
