Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
