I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize