Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
