im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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