How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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