my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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