I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
