Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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