Can Purell be used as lube?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
