He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
