So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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