It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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