11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
