4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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